hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
