you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Randomize