Im at strip club and am horny
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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