Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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