Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
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