i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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