Your tits are I can't wait for
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
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i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
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