I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
