Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
