she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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