The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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