Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
