Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
