Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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