question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
