No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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