I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
