I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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