He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
