Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
