You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
