She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
