you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
