i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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