apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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