Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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