Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize