K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
