capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
