I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
