Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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