Already got asked if we're dating
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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