So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
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Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
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CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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