Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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