My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
