eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
