Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
