hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
