I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
