I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
