she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.