i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I didn't notice because vodka
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
