i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
