Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
