It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize