Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize