just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
