A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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