Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
