Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
