you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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