East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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