ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
