Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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