We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
