So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize