there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
