Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
