bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
