I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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