Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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