garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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