We're like a lot better than the average bears
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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