explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I am mentally ready for anal.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
