maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
